Camping & Family Togetherness

Nothing brings a family together quite like camping.  Whether you're jammed into a small dome tent or elegantly sequestered in a luxury RV, you'll have no choice but to be physically closer than you are in even the smallest home or apartment.  Often that alone forces a level of personal interaction missing from our normal everyday lives.  But physical proximity is not the only kind of closeness camping generates.  Camping typically requires a level of cooperation and interaction that is sadly lacking in our modern, compartmentalized, electronic-oriented lives.  Even the most affluent families are not likely to bring along the maid, butler, and/or chauffer on camping trips (although that might be an interesting experiment) and everyone is going to have to pitch in to make things work. Shared tasks and shared adventures create a kind of bonding that each doing his own independent thing lacks.

Camping may force a level of togetherness that families are not used to -- and some family members may have difficulty adjusting.   Recognize this may happen and mentally prepare yourself for it.   It may take some patience and some work before it is comfortable, but it can be done and is more than worth it.   In days gone by people lived in much smaller homes (many way smaller than today's RVs), with 2 or more generations sharing a single one room cabin.   They managed, and usually formed very strong family bonds, though how they found enough privacy to continue having children after a few arrived is a question that deserves pondering.

Family-oriented activities are often the heart of camping and related outings.   Our family choice has always been dirt-biking.  While many of our rides included other members of our informal off-road group, we always set aside at least one as a family ride on each outing.  Fishing, hunting, hiking, picnicking, bird-watching, and water sports also lend themselves well to a family focus.   Exploring points of historical and natural interest together allow sharing of experiences that promote family bonding. With just a little practice you can identify many "teaching moments" where you can expand your kid's knowledge of science, nature, history, politics, religion, geography, and family history.  Knowing they have ancestors who were directly involved in historic events helps bring those events to life.   I recall that in grade school, every Thanksgiving teachers asked if any of us had ancestors on the Mayflower.  I didn't learn until much later (when I was already a Grandpa) that the first of my family arrived in America as step-sons of Governor Bradford of the Plymouth Colony and also included John Alden and Priscilla Mullen in the family tree when one of the boys married a daughter of John and Priscilla.   No doubt I would have paid a lot more attention to the stories of the Pilgrims and Longfellow's "The Courtship of Miles Standish" if I'd known they were talking about my own ancestors.  Knowing something of YOUR family history might spur extra interest in historic events and sites.   BTW, Longfellow  (author of "The Courtship of Miles Standish") was also a descendant of John and Priscilla.

I'm not saying camping will cure a dysfunctional family, but, like chicken soup, it can't hurt, and may help create bonds that help prevent the fractures that lead to the relational gaps in the first place. If nothing else it gives everyone in the family a common base of shared experiences and that in itself helps tie folks together.  And lacking any other common interests, camping just might turn out to be the one thing that brings everyone together.   In Robin Willam's movie "RV", the family starts out really fractured and skeptical(even down right angry) about his renting an RV for their summer vacation, but by the end of the movie, shared experiences have brought them closer together than ever.  I doubt if any of us would do as well without the benefit of Hollywood script writers but in today's hectic world we need all the help we can get!

Family vacations create memories your kids will treasure their whole lives.  I recall the story a young man told of how his large family had tried for years to save money to add a second bathroom to their tiny little house. But each year they tapped into the "bathroom savings" to finance a family vacation.   The bathroom never did get built but after he left home he recalled those family vacations with great fondness.   It is doubtful anyone would have remembered the new bathroom with the same passion.

For all its benefits, togetherness does have its limitations, especially if you're not used to it. Couples may want some privacy that is difficult to achieve in a tent or RV shared with other family members.  You may need to plan or at least allow some time for individual activities or "quiet time". Being jammed together for several days can cause people to start to get on each other's nerves. Recognize this up front and arrange some break time at the first sign of tension building.   Get out and take a walk or go for a swim.   Go throw a ball against rock or a wall.  Skip rocks across the lake.  Allow your companions a little personal space and make some for yourself.  In his book, The Prophet, Kalil Gibran, wisely advises "Let there be spaces in your togetherness.  For the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow".  But he also said "Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.", so don't go overboard on private time.   You may have special need of spaces in your togetherness when squeezed into a camping environment, but making the most of being together is what is going to form familial bonds and forge fond memories.

Togetherness: Try it. You'll like it!